Rest In Pandora Peace, 2 Chainz

Okay, so I've been avoiding writing this post in an attempt to avoid sounding like I live under a rock, buuuut... it's time.

2 Chainz. Who the hell is he and why the hell should I care?

A few months ago, or maybe longer I donno, a local rapper, Spose, posted on Facebook about his daughter rapping 2 Chainz or wanting to listen to him or something. I can't quite remember what the post was exactly, but the point is that it mentioned 2 Chainz and his toddler in the same sentence and I remembering thinking, "Who the hell is 2 Chainz and how uncool am I for not knowing when this 3 year old knows?"

I forgot all about 2 Chainz until last week when he suddenly wiggled his way onto my Pandora radio station. I can't really blame Pandora for this one, though, because I may have been listening to the Today's Hip Hop and Pop station... What can I say? I'm musically diverse.

Anyway, I'm listening to something with a beat and all of a sudden I hear this slow ass rapper take over and announce himself as "2 Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaainz!" And I was like.... Really? This guy is 2 Chainz? So I've decided to do some research before I condone the man to a  life of Pandora thumbs downs.

According to his bio, he's signed to Def Jam Recordings and he hails from the "southside of Atlanta." This explains the drawl he calls a rap--the Atlanta thing, not the Def Jam thing. Although, Luda is from the ATL and he is killer, so 2 Chainz has no excuse.

I need to consult YouTube. The first two videos I've clicked on for this bloke are just beats. Maybe he's not a rapper? But that doesn't make sense, I've heard him rap on the Pandora.

Upon further investigation, I've stumbled across Cowboy, I'm Different, RIP, Spend It, and No Lie. I'm running out of patience and I'm not impressed. I would have kept searching for one I liked, but the line "She could have a Grammy, I still treat her ass like a nominee," by his cohort Drake in No Lie, quite frankly, pissed me off.

It's looking like a quick trip to the Pandora graveyard for Mr. Chainz. I'm disappointed;  it takes a lot for me to thumbs someone down completely. As I've said, I have a pretty diverse taste in music. Rap was the first genre I fell in love with and I hate to get down on an artist, but seriously... I can't find a reason to like this guy.

"2 Chainz but I got me a few on," may be the only thing that saves him. And maybe just that one song. And only because I love puns.


This just in: All 2 Chainz wants for his birthday is a big booty ho. So if someone can help him out, I'm sure he'd appreciate the help. With skillz like his, he needs it.

Can you imagine being those dudes getting lap danced on camera? Awkwaaaard.