Garlic Clears Infections. And the Room.

So I'm one of the bazillion Americans who doesn't have health insurance and works two part-time jobs so she can't get health insurance because her hours don't exceed 29/week at either position. I also have impacted wisdom teeth. I think. I don't know for sure because I refuse to go to the dentist. I've never had anything but a cleaning done and I haven't been in probably a decade. But I read A Million Little Pieces--I have a vivid idea of what tooth work would feel like. You all can't fool me with your comforting words.

Anywho. A couple of years ago all of the wisdom teeth in my mouth got infected and swelled to epic proportions. At the time I had some leftover antibiotics hanging around so I took them and my mouth eventually recovered. Last week the wisdom teeth on one side of my mouth decided to get silly and out of control again. Silly teeth.

Being as I don't have insurance for a dentist. And I don't have a doctor (since I don't ever go) who I can call and beg for antibiotics. And I hate hospitals. I had to turn to the internet for some solution. Because a) I was afraid the infection would go to my brain and murder me in my sleep; b) my mouth hurt and eating and talking was harder than it should have been; and c) Jon was going to make me go to the dentist.

I turned first to Facebook and asked friends what to do. Among the myriad of responses, I was told to try clove oil for the pain and garlic for the infection. Yes, garlic.

I looked it up and found out that garlic is indeed a natural antibiotic. Cool! I love garlic!

Now let me just preface this by saying that I put garlic in pretty much everything I cook. I use so much garlic that if a vampire decided on me for a tasty snack, they'd fly screaming in the other direction with one precious bite. In my home remedy searching, I came across some info that chewing on a raw onion for three minutes helps with tooth swelling/infection. I wasn't quite ready for that step but I figured that if I chewed on the garlic it would have the same effect and it had to be better than chewing on an onion. Right?

Frigging WRONG. The first night, I popped a clove into my mouth and started to chew and ohmygoodgod. Raw garlic burns. It burns so bad. I swallowed it down as quickly as I could and decided to chop up the next clove into pill sized bits and swallow them with a glass of water. I also swished with salt water several times, swished with hydrogen peroxide, and soaked gauze in clove oil and let it sit on my gums for a few minutes. That last bit was challenging--I was drooling like my friend Krista's bull dog by the time I spit it out. After all was said and done my teeth felt much better but my mouth was on fire and I smelled like I imagine the Godfather smells.

So last night I decided that there would be no chewing of the garlic. I chopped up both cloves and swallowed them like pills. I brushed my teeth. I swished with salt water. I swished with peroxide. I swished with mouth wash for good measure. I dabbed a tiny bit of clove oil onto the gums themselves.

I got into bed. I got about 8 inches from kissing Jon. I hear "I smell garlic."

-_-

My advice to you all? If your wisdom teeth flare up and you don't have insurance and you don't like the dentist and you decide to swallow raw garlic to fix the situation: take your garlicbiotic eons before you're about to get into bed with your partner. "I smell garlic" is a real mood-killer.

Photo credit: www.pet-grub.com