Not-so-fine China

So I'm listening to Pandora the other day and this song comes on, "Fine China" by Chris Brown. I'm bee-bopping along to the beat and I realize that at one point he's crooning the lyrics: "It's alright, I'm not dangerous/When you're mine, I'll be generous/You're irreplaceable/A collectible, just like fine china"

....Whut?

I double-checked my Pandora. Yep, Chris Brown. Like, Chris Brown Chris Brown? The one who beat Rihanna, Chris Brown? Ahhh yup. That's the one.

I dig the beat, but "It's alright, I'm not dangerous?" "A collectible, just like fine china?" Is that like, a plea to women that he's all cute and adorable and harmless and we should forget that he hit his girlfriend? Or maybe he wrote the song before he beat on her and now it's an ironic blip in his history. I have to find out.

Apparently, according to an article from Vibe, "Fine China" is the single off his latest album! You're joking! He actually went with those lyrics in lieu of the Rihanna thing?! Man. Well, I suppose if she's into going back to him, he's allowed to proclaim whatever he wants in his music.

Also, I went to YouTube to find the video. Which, in itself is another ...whut? the fudge?


First of all, did he seriously get an Asian woman to play his lady love in a song called "Fine China?" And make her the daughter of the leader of the Triads? Really, Chris Brown? Who do you think you are?

Second of all, he looks like a new lesbian. You know the kind; the ones who are barely 18 and "butch" but not butch enough to really be butch and they are adorable and move all excited and fluidly? Yeah, one of those lesbians.

Last of all, Chris Brown, you can sing, I'm not denying that. And you can dance, yeah, but you are not Michael Jackson. Nobody is or ever will be Michael Jackson. Stop trying. Also, you are not Jet Li. Sit back down.

Can we just talk for a minute about the level of stereotyping involved here? It's astronomical. The family is stereotypically Asian--strict parents, sushi, green tea, and triads?--and he's comparing this woman to a dish because it's fine chinaware and (apparently) so is she. You have got to be kidding me.

Should I even get into the level of sexism involved when referring to women as collectibles? Do I have to? How about the fact that he takes on all of the father's Asian gang members single-handedly with crazy martial arts (you know, because they're Asian) while the actual Asian woman behind him stands there like a princess to be rescued?

How about the racism? Like after they leave the club and have to face down a giant street bike gang of more Asians, but the day is saved by Chris Brown's Black/Latino gang with sideways, silenced guns.

All the while Fine China herself is bounced between these controlling men in her life? Come. Onnnnnnnn.

I set out to learn whether he recorded this song before or after the Rihanna thing, but after watching the video, I am now angry. Screw you, Chris Brown, screw you.